How to shape your life in other countries:

This is something I got in email which make me think. My thoughts are in this

కన్నదేశం వదలి, ఉన్న దేశానికి వస్తే  ఉన్నవాళ్ళంతా కానివాళ్ళే !

కారు వున్నా, కాసు వున్నా, ఊరు గాని ఊరులోన సుఖం సున్న !

కారు ఏసి, ఇల్లు ఏసి, వళ్ళు మాత్రం వేడివేడి

ఊరు గొప్పది, పేరు గొప్పది, ఉనికి మాత్రం ఉత్తది !

సంవత్సరాలుగా సహచరులే సంబంధాలు మాత్రం అరకొరలే !

ముఖం చూడ సుపరిచతమే మనిషి మాత్రం అపరిచితుడే  !

ఎదురుపడితేనే హాయి, భాయి, ఎప్పుడు కలవాలి చేయి చేయి ! ఎప్పుడు కావాలి భాయి భాయి !

ఇక్కడి ఇళ్ళే బంధిఖానాలు,  మూసిన వాకిళ్ళు, మనసుకు సంకెళ్ళు !

భార్యాభర్తలు కూడా, దూరపు బంధువులే ! ఎవరి లెక్కవారికి, ఎవరి తిక్కవారిది !

నవ్వు కృత్రిమం, నడత కృత్రిమం ! అంతా అసహజత్వం, అంతా యాంత్రికం !

రోజంతా కంప్యూటర్‌తోనే కబుర్లు "నువ్వూ యంత్రానివే" అన్నట్లు దాని విసుర్లు!

ఆత్మీయంగా మాట్లాడేవాళ్ళ కోసం ఆత్రంగా చూడటం,తెరచిన వాకిళ్ళ కోసం అలుపెరగక వెదకడం అలవాటయిన ఈ కళ్ళు ఆలోచిస్తాయి రేయింబవళ్ళు !

ఎంతగా కలిసిపోదామన్నా,పరాయివాడినన్న భావన !

చుట్టూ వందలమంది వున్నా ఎవరూ లేని ఒంటరితనం !

నా దేశాన్ని నాకు దూరంచేసిన, నా రూపాయి అవిటితనం !

Wanted to share my thoughts, after seeing this as at least I feel I have some insight into what is written here. I lived 15 years in US and back in India for last 4 years.

What is written in this email is so so so so true for 99% of the NRIs all over the world. I also used feel same in 1992-93 when I was in US for less than 2 years. How many of you remember a Ghazal by Pankaj Udhas that is a song in a  movie also Chittee ayeee hai". This song resonates so much with the 99% of NRIs usually.

Life as an NRI is a choice people make. When it is a choice we make we feel low sometimes low and sometimes high. Those who make an effort to ride the low are successful. What is the way how to ride this low is different for different person. I will share what I was doing:

·         Used to call friends in India and talk long time

·         Made a good circle of Indian friends in US whom I can meet with families and spend time playing card and board games

·         Spend time with family more taking them to a eating place or park

Get into the culture: every country has their culture and we have ours to uphold and enjoy. So please embrace the culture where you are. Most of the others are very sympathetic and understanding to respect our culture and heritage. Feel proud about it. A few pointers here are:

·         Talk less about Indian corruption with others and talk more about our rich history, culture, heritage, places to visit in India.  I will share an example: I was sitting in a lab when I was doing PhD in TAMU. A American friend who visited Sam Houston park, nearby was talking so highly of it that it is 100 yrs or so old, Texas agreement with US was signed there. There was this MS Student from Fiji island who was sitting in lab who told this gentleman “History is not 100 yrs. You should visit India where they have monuments that are centuries old” You can imagine the response from other gentleman

·         Stop talking about failures in India and why you ran away from them to become NRI and start thinking of how you can help your own people back. May be a relative needs money for his daughter marriage, may be another cousin needs money to complete his engineering, may be someone in extended family needs some healing words from you as they are sick, pick up phone and call them for 30 mins and listen to their pain, may be another relative is worried about his health condition, can you get a 2^nd opinion for this person from your NRI Doctors you know by showing the data, or making the NRI doctor calling the person who is sick. Try this and tell me how you fell after you do this

·         In any country you live you can take up a team of youngsters to teach the anything you are passionate about: Culture, history, Maths, dance etc

·         Now a days calling India is so less expensive, you don’t need to believe you miss people.  If you are talking frequently you don’t miss many things. With Technology you can be there with everyone. I know of a friend in US when she was not able to travel for her brother marriage they arranged a web cam. She was able to feel part of the wedding sitting in her California apartment. I also watched in Video for some time on Yahoo IM.

How you shape your life is in our hands where ever you live: Think for a minute – most likely for some reason or other you might have agreed to have separate bank accounts etc with your spouse (I am referring to భార్యాభర్తలు కూడా, దూరపు బంధువులే ! ఎవరి లెక్కవారికి, ఎవరి తిక్కవారిది !)

As a person probably you made this decision to have independence for your spouse for any eventually for a rainy day.  So why bother. Either you can think what is written is right or change your destiny by practicing a different way:

·         Just don’t follow your heart in doing what you think is right. Plan and make sure to do what is good by local law to take care of eventualities. One example that comes to my mind is have a proper will executed naming beneficiaries as your children and spouse. You are doing a huge favor to yourself and bigger favor to your family

·         Make sure everyone in family and close circle understand where and what your investments are in the country you are living. If you are investing in India thru known associates, verify and check where and what is invested. Don’t fall victim like a US doctor who gave more than 4 Crores to some one believing he is investing for her while he was having  PARTY on her dime

·         How many times we share our pain with our spouse than a friend. Find that friend or make your spouse that friend- that is best

Other side is always green. Don’t fall into this trap. Live the moment, Enjoy the present. You have control of everything in your hand. Don’t think you are a victim think you are a pioneer in making difference. As someone told me a story: Every day in African jungle the lion wakes up looking for food. In the same jungle all other animals wake up and try not be become food for lion. Your job is not to be a LION or a the pray but to survive in the jungle. We are the most adoptive creatures as I know- We Indians are most adoptive. Make best of it

Drive thru Memory Lane

When I first went to US in 1992 there was this great International Student Servcies Director who is a 3rd generation American from Jamaica. He told all of us something...that I wanted to write here and align my thoughts with every one of APRSK students. He said (I wish I remember his name) when everyone goes to US first you are WOWed with everything looking good and all so your spirits are very high. In few months you feel the reality of not having enough money as a student, not having your mom to cook your food, clean and help, not having your friends and family to listen to you. So you will hit a low. The people who survive this low will come out successfully completing their education and find good jobs to become part of American society.

I draw the similarity here: When everyone attended the Feb 27th event - we are all in a HIGH of meeting our old friends, seeing the cots we slept, remembering all the naughty things we did in school, meeting some of our teachers, bringing back our old memories in the same place - where we bathed, slept, studied, became successful. Had a wonderful day with our dear ones. Some kissed the ground at entrance, some took pictures of everything and anything, some shot videos, some went to every place they remember in school, after all that one thing stuck to me.... most of us were in our own little world we remember.  So we went thru the euphoria and we are at a high point. However some of us were privy to some conversations and happenings in school that pains us.

I remember one of our principal in SVU College of Engineering kept 3 boards on 3 of the stair cases we had. They read" First Duty of a student is to study" on first floor stair case. "Second Duty of the student is to study" on 2nd stair case. You can all guess what will be on 3 rd stair case: "Third Duty of the student is to study” Now all of us remember the presentation Giri sent. If you saw it we remember the teachers that taught us, the friends we played with more than world’s richest people or renowned scientists.  We all remember our teachers very fondly- why??? Because they fallowed the principle of “First duty of a teacher is to teach, Second Duty of a teacher is to teach and Third duty of a teacher is to study. On top of it they looked after us more than their children in some cases. For those who are starting to wonder where am I going with this…. For those who spoke to some students and noticed the happenings, this is not the case in school. Not all of the teachers are at fault and it takes only one rotten apple to make a difference. This is only one problem. Students on other end are being brainwashed to server wrong purpose of this bad apple. They are not realizing what is important for them. Before we start taking the note by students seriously and pouring funds and doing what is right let’s question the same students what is that they are planning to give back… Are they willing to bring back state ranks to school? Are they willing to seek help when they need instead of stopping their education? Are they ready to reach out for help? Or they williing to give their full potential for their future?

Looking at the list of things in the speech of students, the needs can be easily met- but always keep in mind the operational costs day today.

We can provide fans, paying every month power bills is an operational items for this.

I remember someone getting wiring done earlier once. In my opinion changing wiring on the old buildings is a drop in ocean. Is that the issue or getting new buildings with good infrastructure with fans and good wiring is the solution?

Dining hall completion is a challenge- we have to think- how and what we can do here. Heard from people who were there (Murali and others) that students are eating food sitting in gym as there is not enough space to seat all of them at same time in dining hall. This is absolutely a necessity. We can prioritize this. Logistics wise- assuming we get funds, who manages the contractor, who manages the project, who will be accountable for the funds? There is no Mallikarjunappa, no Kiapa or No KRK nearby to do any of these. We have to find them in other batches to do this. Once we have the committed people on ground this can become reality.

I will talk about sports kits and game rooms. But will talk about Library and science labs. Madhav and Eka brought a lot of books with inventory. We wanted to hand them off to a librarian. The school does not have a librarian. How can that be? Earlier once Phalgun spent a lot of time to get a lot of science lab material to school. After a year or so the equipment was still gathering dust as the teachers were commuting daily and could not show interest. Kaipa was instrumental in providing a great computer lab and a person to manage it from NIIT to run it. When the lab was shutdown god knows when Kaipa came to know of the 15 months later. Is this good?

So my dear Tammullu before we end up with too much enthusiasm let us think and pause for a moment and see what is right thing to do?

One last note: I asked the team who was responsible for the donations to provide the list for transparency so no one can question them later. As someone pointed it is always good to recognize people who gave more- it is a best practice anyway you see it. So please stop more discussion on this subject. Consider this as my humble request keeping bigger picture in mind

Customer Service in Health Industry Arrived in India

For anyone when your loved one is in hospitals, how many times, did you have to face tough times that hospital billed over, insurance did not want to pay, the approval did not come in time for discharge of patient, you feel hospital doctors are keeping your loved one in hospital for supporting corporate goals and others. For me when I dealt with our insurance and the hospital where she stayed, it was quite a pleasant experience for the time I spent in sleeping hospital for 10 days.

It all started around Dasara Festival time.  My mom who is a chronic asthmatic got exposed to pooja smoke of Dhoop etc. it got worse in 3-4 days where she could not be on her own. Since we were taking her to a well-known Pulmonologist in city we wanted to admit her in same corporate hospitals where he works. The next thing that comes to my mind is how to beat the system to get appointment with this specialist and find a place for if mom needed admission to hospital. On Saturday morning I was really worried and called a high school friend who is in medical equipment business as he was willing to find a seat for my daughter in the same people medical college.  He knew the perfect gentlemen at the corporate hospitals.

I took my mom with my wife in tow (thank god she came with me as it would have been difficult to manage a few things in hospital before moms admission) to this hospital. When I arrived there and told the name of the gentlemen I spoke to, all was set in motion. Appointment was ready. The next person to see the doc is my mom.  Doc was surprised to see mom in that condition as he was used to seeing her walking into his consulting office. He suggested to observer her for a day or two in hospital and told me he would start treatment in EMD ( I believe it is probably emergency ward) as it will take 2 hrs to find a room. He did not know I already set that in motion. While she was getting her first dose of nebulization for her condition, I finalized a room in 6^th floor. We took her to get her X-Ray and by 12:30 we are in her room. After settling into the room I called my family to inform that mom is in observation and probably will leave in 2 days to home.

Nurses were very warm and caring for mom but for a couple of them in about 10 of them I saw. They were courteous and were instructing her well what to do and what not to do. Other supporting staff was also helping us in best possible way. After sometime in US where luckily only time I saw hospital was for our little ones birth, I felt service here is very good in hospital.

Meanwhile I provided my insurance documents to the hospital and talked the insurance people and told them of the situation.  By Monday I know we will be in hospital for a few more days than I expected as mom was not responding well to the treatment. I called insurance folks one more time and updated that we probably will be there for more days. Checked with hospital insurance people also to make sure they are aware of the situation and they are sending necessary pre-approvals to insurance folks.

This is the first time it dawned upon me that the insurance working between hospital and the insurance company is going so smooth that everyone is in sync. I was only checking to make sure the process is working. First time it occurred to me that customer service in health industry has arrived in India. 

We went thru one week of effort to make it thru. I was sleeping every day in hospital at night so I could talk to the doc when he comes to rounds every day.  Madhu was holding the fort talking care of kids, their college/schools etc. We found some good help who came as blessing in disguise to take care of mom’s needs. So my work at night became easy as she was taking care of her mostly.

Finally the day arrived when we have to discharge mom. It happened to be a Monday. Doctor came for rounds and told me that I can take her home. I gave heads up to hospital people and insurance people. I called insurance people in the morning this customer representative, whom I spoke to – R Sharma, is such a nice person, she told me to get all paper work in and call and ask for her. She followed up with me 3 times in day providing status.  The system send sms when they receive the final bill and make the approval for final amount. It is really amazing you are constantly informed of where your case is using technology such as sms. She called me later in the day and wished my mom well and told me all is well and I can take my mom home.

My mom is still recovering but the entre experience for me gave a new meaning on new India and its capability in customer service.  Well folks, now I can say loudly Customer Service in Health Industry Arrived in India

I will add some pictures I took of Birla Temple near Hussain Sagar and Secretariat on face book. These pictures are taken by me during my mom’s hospital stay showing moods of Hyderabad.