This is something I got in email which make me think. My thoughts are in this
కన్నదేశం వదలి, ఉన్న దేశానికి వస్తే ఉన్నవాళ్ళంతా కానివాళ్ళే !
కారు వున్నా, కాసు వున్నా, ఊరు గాని ఊరులోన సుఖం సున్న !
కారు ఏసి, ఇల్లు ఏసి, వళ్ళు మాత్రం వేడివేడి
ఊరు గొప్పది, పేరు గొప్పది, ఉనికి మాత్రం ఉత్తది !
సంవత్సరాలుగా సహచరులే సంబంధాలు మాత్రం అరకొరలే !
ముఖం చూడ సుపరిచతమే మనిషి మాత్రం అపరిచితుడే !
ఎదురుపడితేనే హాయి, భాయి, ఎప్పుడు కలవాలి చేయి చేయి ! ఎప్పుడు కావాలి భాయి భాయి !
ఇక్కడి ఇళ్ళే బంధిఖానాలు, మూసిన వాకిళ్ళు, మనసుకు సంకెళ్ళు !
భార్యాభర్తలు కూడా, దూరపు బంధువులే ! ఎవరి లెక్కవారికి, ఎవరి తిక్కవారిది !
నవ్వు కృత్రిమం, నడత కృత్రిమం ! అంతా అసహజత్వం, అంతా యాంత్రికం !
రోజంతా కంప్యూటర్‌తోనే కబుర్లు "నువ్వూ యంత్రానివే" అన్నట్లు దాని విసుర్లు!
ఆత్మీయంగా మాట్లాడేవాళ్ళ కోసం ఆత్రంగా చూడటం,తెరచిన వాకిళ్ళ కోసం అలుపెరగక వెదకడం అలవాటయిన ఈ కళ్ళు ఆలోచిస్తాయి రేయింబవళ్ళు !
ఎంతగా కలిసిపోదామన్నా,పరాయివాడినన్న భావన !
చుట్టూ వందలమంది వున్నా ఎవరూ లేని ఒంటరితనం !
నా దేశాన్ని నాకు దూరంచేసిన, నా రూపాయి అవిటితనం !
Wanted to share my thoughts, after seeing this as at least I feel I have some insight into what is written here. I lived 15 years in US and back in India for last 4 years.
What is written in this email is so so so so true for 99% of the NRIs all over the world. I also used feel same in 1992-93 when I was in US for less than 2 years. How many of you remember a Ghazal by Pankaj Udhas that is a song in a movie also Chittee ayeee hai". This song resonates so much with the 99% of NRIs usually.
Life as an NRI is a choice people make. When it is a choice we make we feel low sometimes low and sometimes high. Those who make an effort to ride the low are successful. What is the way how to ride this low is different for different person. I will share what I was doing:
· Used to call friends in India and talk long time
· Made a good circle of Indian friends in US whom I can meet with families and spend time playing card and board games
· Spend time with family more taking them to a eating place or park
Get into the culture: every country has their culture and we have ours to uphold and enjoy. So please embrace the culture where you are. Most of the others are very sympathetic and understanding to respect our culture and heritage. Feel proud about it. A few pointers here are:
· Talk less about Indian corruption with others and talk more about our rich history, culture, heritage, places to visit in India. I will share an example: I was sitting in a lab when I was doing PhD in TAMU. A American friend who visited Sam Houston park, nearby was talking so highly of it that it is 100 yrs or so old, Texas agreement with US was signed there. There was this MS Student from Fiji island who was sitting in lab who told this gentleman “History is not 100 yrs. You should visit India where they have monuments that are centuries old” You can imagine the response from other gentleman
· Stop talking about failures in India and why you ran away from them to become NRI and start thinking of how you can help your own people back. May be a relative needs money for his daughter marriage, may be another cousin needs money to complete his engineering, may be someone in extended family needs some healing words from you as they are sick, pick up phone and call them for 30 mins and listen to their pain, may be another relative is worried about his health condition, can you get a 2nd opinion for this person from your NRI Doctors you know by showing the data, or making the NRI doctor calling the person who is sick. Try this and tell me how you fell after you do this
· In any country you live you can take up a team of youngsters to teach the anything you are passionate about: Culture, history, Maths, dance etc
· Now a days calling India is so less expensive, you don’t need to believe you miss people. If you are talking frequently you don’t miss many things. With Technology you can be there with everyone. I know of a friend in US when she was not able to travel for her brother marriage they arranged a web cam. She was able to feel part of the wedding sitting in her California apartment. I also watched in Video for some time on Yahoo IM.
How you shape your life is in our hands where ever you live: Think for a minute – most likely for some reason or other you might have agreed to have separate bank accounts etc with your spouse (I am referring to భార్యాభర్తలు కూడా, దూరపు బంధువులే ! ఎవరి లెక్కవారికి, ఎవరి తిక్కవారిది !)
As a person probably you made this decision to have independence for your spouse for any eventually for a rainy day. So why bother. Either you can think what is written is right or change your destiny by practicing a different way:
· Just don’t follow your heart in doing what you think is right. Plan and make sure to do what is good by local law to take care of eventualities. One example that comes to my mind is have a proper will executed naming beneficiaries as your children and spouse. You are doing a huge favor to yourself and bigger favor to your family
· Make sure everyone in family and close circle understand where and what your investments are in the country you are living. If you are investing in India thru known associates, verify and check where and what is invested. Don’t fall victim like a US doctor who gave more than 4 Crores to some one believing he is investing for her while he was having PARTY on her dime
· How many times we share our pain with our spouse than a friend. Find that friend or make your spouse that friend- that is best
Other side is always green. Don’t fall into this trap. Live the moment, Enjoy the present. You have control of everything in your hand. Don’t think you are a victim think you are a pioneer in making difference. As someone told me a story: Every day in African jungle the lion wakes up looking for food. In the same jungle all other animals wake up and try not be become food for lion. Your job is not to be a LION or a the pray but to survive in the jungle. We are the most adoptive creatures as I know- We Indians are most adoptive. Make best of it
