Once Bitten... Twice shy... a Third time... you stop doing what you do. People don't know their actions will result in people losing faith to help... the few who does help..Read on to see from my vantage point...
Some time back in history in another avatar of my life I was teaching engineering graduates just after finishing college in Tirupati, the same college where I studied. when you are young and bubbling with energy you want to do so many things... one such I picked up is to see whom and what I can help and was always there to do so... In those days I used to wonder...why my professors who are so matured and full of wisdom and really awesome people, never thought of helping students in attendance or accommodating a seat etc etc. Wondering about... I joined the same teaching fraternity... and became one amongst them. Still being young and green behind years wanted to change something. Every year I was in charge of all M Tech Admissions. Don't think it is a great job as it is mainly clerical work, sorting the applications by reservation categorises, sorting them in order of merit, verifying the attached copies of certificates..and preparing the merit list to announce final admissions for the year.
One year there was this guy who was wait list number 1 for the State government department quota. One of the people in the list was not going to come join and unless he declines the admission, we can not release the offer to wait list candidate. Our Head of the department was not willing to help in anyway. I persuaded him to the best of my ability and made him agree if there is a telegram (yes no cell phones, emails then) from the person not joining that he is rejecting the seat HOD will offer to wait list person. Around Tuesday I told the wail list candidate that he needs to get a telegram from the other guy. He called the selected person and asked him to give a telegram. On Wednesday when we received the telegram our HOD raised another objection, if the candidate can not join by Monday next he wont make the minimum attendance requirement for taking first semester exams. Well ... tough times... so I called the wait list guy and told him the issue. He said let him worry about joining on Monday but first he needed a letter of admission. By Thursday finally we issued admission letter. He went to Hyderabad on Thursday evening and Olaaaa... He magically got his leave approved, granted, with department relief letter and joined on Monday. This is only one I am writing and in 7 years I was there I did many such things... however by 7th year I started noticing people who take help, usually forget and don't remember at all. I am no Tagore in Chiru movie but expecting these people to help others. That was not happening..If people only expect everyone to help and not give back, that to me is a crime... We are born as human beings and expected to be sane and helpful. Then all of a sudden it stuck to me why the senior professors have no enthusiasm to help as they might have seen their share and decided it is not worth helping the students and let them fend themselevs.
I went to US and saw all my deeds were coming to reality as a unknown Telugu family took so much care of me in a land where I had no friends and family. Till today I am very good friends with them and they keep in touch. I learned something here... a unselfish helpful act never goes unnoticed as GOD helps you in mysterious ways.
Now I am at a point of my life where in age I am like my professors that time back..I saw so many incidents in my life and still do what I can to assist people. A latest incident brought back my memories of those days again. It happened very close to me. Some one who got a offer thru a persons help in their office while leaving bad mouthed the person. It is like biting your own hand that feeds you. Do people ever know that using others will make them very bad people... a person that was there for you in your worst nightmares, who helped you making thru and who was doing so many small things which you know were helpful for you.. you talked about him ... not nice
One thing that people who take help and behave badly don't know and will never realize is that it makes the next person that seeks help will be looked with a doubt.. So people if you get help... and think it that is it saved your skin, it helped you put food on table, it have comfort and consolation when you were in need don't forget them, and talk bad about them if they said something for your good is not to your liking...Some one gave their wisdom that we should not let people whom we help to remember.. I liked it bit i want them to remember it not to help me back or give me anything back but not to shot my confidence in people down. I would like to continue to do what I can with God's wish.
At the end... a person who tires to help will know first time bitten and second time might feel a little shy- a third time the person will be careful to help others including stop helping at all. This is what I observed in my college and in work. As fare as me I move on and continue to see how I can do anything to better others in anyway I can irrespective of these happenings...
Some time back in history in another avatar of my life I was teaching engineering graduates just after finishing college in Tirupati, the same college where I studied. when you are young and bubbling with energy you want to do so many things... one such I picked up is to see whom and what I can help and was always there to do so... In those days I used to wonder...why my professors who are so matured and full of wisdom and really awesome people, never thought of helping students in attendance or accommodating a seat etc etc. Wondering about... I joined the same teaching fraternity... and became one amongst them. Still being young and green behind years wanted to change something. Every year I was in charge of all M Tech Admissions. Don't think it is a great job as it is mainly clerical work, sorting the applications by reservation categorises, sorting them in order of merit, verifying the attached copies of certificates..and preparing the merit list to announce final admissions for the year.
One year there was this guy who was wait list number 1 for the State government department quota. One of the people in the list was not going to come join and unless he declines the admission, we can not release the offer to wait list candidate. Our Head of the department was not willing to help in anyway. I persuaded him to the best of my ability and made him agree if there is a telegram (yes no cell phones, emails then) from the person not joining that he is rejecting the seat HOD will offer to wait list person. Around Tuesday I told the wail list candidate that he needs to get a telegram from the other guy. He called the selected person and asked him to give a telegram. On Wednesday when we received the telegram our HOD raised another objection, if the candidate can not join by Monday next he wont make the minimum attendance requirement for taking first semester exams. Well ... tough times... so I called the wait list guy and told him the issue. He said let him worry about joining on Monday but first he needed a letter of admission. By Thursday finally we issued admission letter. He went to Hyderabad on Thursday evening and Olaaaa... He magically got his leave approved, granted, with department relief letter and joined on Monday. This is only one I am writing and in 7 years I was there I did many such things... however by 7th year I started noticing people who take help, usually forget and don't remember at all. I am no Tagore in Chiru movie but expecting these people to help others. That was not happening..If people only expect everyone to help and not give back, that to me is a crime... We are born as human beings and expected to be sane and helpful. Then all of a sudden it stuck to me why the senior professors have no enthusiasm to help as they might have seen their share and decided it is not worth helping the students and let them fend themselevs.
I went to US and saw all my deeds were coming to reality as a unknown Telugu family took so much care of me in a land where I had no friends and family. Till today I am very good friends with them and they keep in touch. I learned something here... a unselfish helpful act never goes unnoticed as GOD helps you in mysterious ways.
Now I am at a point of my life where in age I am like my professors that time back..I saw so many incidents in my life and still do what I can to assist people. A latest incident brought back my memories of those days again. It happened very close to me. Some one who got a offer thru a persons help in their office while leaving bad mouthed the person. It is like biting your own hand that feeds you. Do people ever know that using others will make them very bad people... a person that was there for you in your worst nightmares, who helped you making thru and who was doing so many small things which you know were helpful for you.. you talked about him ... not nice
One thing that people who take help and behave badly don't know and will never realize is that it makes the next person that seeks help will be looked with a doubt.. So people if you get help... and think it that is it saved your skin, it helped you put food on table, it have comfort and consolation when you were in need don't forget them, and talk bad about them if they said something for your good is not to your liking...Some one gave their wisdom that we should not let people whom we help to remember.. I liked it bit i want them to remember it not to help me back or give me anything back but not to shot my confidence in people down. I would like to continue to do what I can with God's wish.
At the end... a person who tires to help will know first time bitten and second time might feel a little shy- a third time the person will be careful to help others including stop helping at all. This is what I observed in my college and in work. As fare as me I move on and continue to see how I can do anything to better others in anyway I can irrespective of these happenings...
Very well written piece from your life experiences.
ReplyDeleteNice to hear that you have not lost the zeal to help others in spite of some bitter experiences.
Personally, I feel that the number of 'caring souls' is already less and if they too become bitter and stop helping, the world will become much poorer.
But that does not mean that those who receive help should become ungrateful.
This piece reminded me about an inspiring poem " Love them anyway" that I used to read often during my student days on the posters displayed on the pavements of Delhi.
Trust most of our Kodis would have seen it at some point of time.
Pasting it below.
Cheers
Giridhar(1981)
" Love them anyway"
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
Very true, every word typed. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is how the seniors inspire the juniors, by sharing those precious moments that can actually teach without teaching. Look forward to your next blog.
Giri such an apt poem...VSP Looking forward to seeing you in Tirupati
ReplyDeleteBro, superb reality check for people helping and people taking help. It would inspire both to be more reasonable I guess. Thanks for writing.
ReplyDeleteThanks to Giri garu for complimenting your piece with awesome poem. Most SVUCE guys somehow finds a way of moving forward as I see all the years since 1997.. Hope we will continue our contributions in the hope of genuine candidates should not miss our our possible help.
Cheers Bro !